Fear

I do not fear death but I fear inadequateness and lack of purpose run amiss.
I do not fear hurt but I fear the rejection of a kiss
I do not fear life but fear lack thereof.
I do not fear sacrifice but I fear the broken promise of love
I do not fear being alone but I fear loneliness
I do not fear politics but I fear the potency of my eloquence
I do not fear society but I fear its silence
I do not fear change but I fear the fall of a white picket fence
I do not fear blood but I fear my reflection after I have pulled the trigger
I do not fear racism but I fear the ignorance of a black man that refers to
himself as a nigger
I do not fear the sweat of hard work but I fear laziness
I do not fear the darkness but I fear the whispers of the selfish temptress
I do not fear war but I fear the cries of parentless children
I do not fear a bullet but I fear the words that bleed on my paper from my pen
I do not fear failure but I fear the lesson not learned
I do not fear man but I fear his greed and his evil well earned
I do not fear experience but I fear regret
I do not fear the scorn from mere eyes but I fear that my name they will never
forget
I do not fear my anger but I fear for those that unleash it
I do not fear hate but I fear the ones that have been taught to embrace it
I do not fear my talents but I fear their limitlessness
I do not fear mistakes but I fear the weak that refuse forgiveness
I do not fear knowledge but I fear the misconstrued
I do not fear what I cannot understand but I fear the liar that had himself
fooled
I do not fear the unknown but I fear I will never know all
I do not fear the jump but I fear my reliance on the one who was supposed to
catch me before I fall
I do not fear reliance or trust but I fear their failure
I do not fear the impact or the past but I fear how much of the good I will
remember… will there be enough?
I have a bad memory…so I hope so.

Surprise!

Caught up in a world forced to turn no matter if you want to dance
Words fall on deaf ears for power is the only chance
To accomplish a cause to be recognized without being patronized
But surprise!
I'm a woman
My powers of seduction are as dangerous as a predators stalk
I don't need to have sex with you to demand your respect as I walk
I seduce you with words and control your gaze above my blouse and leave you
breathless without a peak or a sigh
For the venom I whisper is more tantalizing than what awaits in between my
thighs
Realize my beauty is stronger than my perfect form
For I can seduce even if my figure is far from the considered standards of
pretty's norms
I speak with passion because I know no other way to say
What is on my mind and how to solve everything you cannot simply wave away
Beware the woman that has a mind
For that will end the ignorance of the whores that poison mankind
And men will be forced to start listening and realizing our worth and making
the change instead of the games
Chivalry is dead and women are to blame

Today & Tomorrow

What we live for today sometimes never even matters tomorrow
What we do today we mourn for hours and yesterday sinks into a deeper sorrow
What do we use as "credentials" to determine what is important today
and what can be left for tomorrow
Why do we struggle for happiness but find easy routes to obtain greed
Why do we hide from love and stray from truth but preach about never being
freed
From a gilded cage we ourselves have created and found to use only when hiding
is beneficial
That of course means when we are being cowards and superficial
What we strive for today should mean something tomorrow
What we say today should reflect a lifetime's worth of fulfillment to ease
a soul's hollow
How we love should be risky, dangerous, exciting, and true
Taking chances on what we believe is right even when there is no one that
believes in you
What we determine is right is usually morally wrong
But what lies in a heart's strength is always the notes of our truest songs
Morally wrong is simply based on perspective
Are you brave enough to intercept this disabled contraceptive?
Be bold and follow that tune in your head and the glass stairs to your heart
For today is simply your forever's jump start
Shouldn't it mean something more than just the everyday hustle and strife
for the American dream?
If you dream on solid ground with your head to the sky and you feet planted..
that dream will become more than what reality may seem and that image will
become much more concrete than simply a gleam

We Differ

We are all just mere humans that walk this earth looking for a purpose but
don't know where to start
Revolution and evolution lives solely in our souls and begins with our hearts
I am a woman
You are a man
You have a penis you tend to use as often as a kickstand
I have ovaries that I use to complain, nag, and bitch then expect the world to
understand
But all jokes aside what can we give back to the beauty of our lives?
We live we breathe but we are far from free
So what distinguished you from me?
In my life I have done nothing extraordinary nor have seen great sites or
discovered new technologies
But I have stood amongst armies of societies and hit them with passion filled
philosophies on the catastrophes of modern day hypocrisies
I am but another latin woman that just like the rest raises her voice to a
point of cardiac arrest when I feel a little pressed and I talk with my hands
much more than the rest
But this latin woman has surpassed all prejudices of speaking ignorant brown
girl spanglish
I have learned the power of words and allowed entire empires to relish at this
new fetish
Called knowledge
I won't be a surgeon with a million medical terms that took years to
memorize
I wont be an athlete that makes America marvel as my abilities are paid to be
maximized
I wont be an actress or a model or hell even close to a modern day girl should
look
But where I stand alone is that I decided to not read your story and write my
own fucking book
Not listen to your hate but debate why oh why do we simply just believe without
believing we risk ourselves at the stake?
I differ in that I speak loud and oh my do I use the potency of these words
that swirl off my tongue and never look back when I start to run much like the
power you think you have when you lift that cannon and fire that gun
I teach and create and aspire to touch the world with one gentle whisper at a
time
I am better than you because I have loved truly, fully, and as freely as these
lyrics find the inspiration to rhyme
I have a story to tell and perhaps that's what distinguishes you from me
But my story is merely pages as plain as your fresh white tee
that without the heart I had to write them, they would be empty
Just like you
Your not alone but close your eyes and realize your all by yourself
Looking in others what you lack in yourself
No passion no ambition no fire to truth
That is the difference between me and you
Not the clothes we wear our careers or the music we listen to or where we grew
up
It's the fact that I live bravely enough to speak as freely as I can touch
I will be a professor sparking beauty and building kingdoms with words to
nurture our children's future and pushing them to the melody of life
I will be a wife that loves her husband infinitely and that prides to live in
the kitchen under that knife
I will write poetry perfectly poised to position passion purposely aimed to
enlighten endlessly to entice eagerly everybody
I'll eventually pay off all this debt only to realize I lost half my good
credit
I'll finally be able to afford my dream car only to realize that damn 2020
to pay it off is pretty damn far
I wont be rich I wont be famous I wont have most of the things I thought I
could
But boy with these endless canvases of dreams and a freedom that can't
stand still
I would
I should
And I will
And still
WE differ.
Because I will not settle yet my story is simple
I live based on love and faith and he is the beauty mark on my smile each time
I show my dimples
Status means nothing and classes are overrated and believe me no matter how
many times you play the damn lottery its just pure luck
I am distinguished because beyond all the darkness, bullshit, and pressures of
being distinguished in society's eyes to be accepted.
I just don't give a fuck.

Happy New Year

Here is another year. You are given another exciting opportunity to change, omit, adjust, add, enhance, or stop any aspect or characteristic that once defined your life. You have 365 days to accomplish this. Who doesn't get excited at this idea of a new beginning? But how can you move forward, without looking back?

I have failed in trying to summarize the past 365 days in some witty or deep poetic manner that can somehow accurately describe how those days have been spent either succeeding in my daily goals/struggles, or failing. So, Instead I chose to just say this:

2011 will be different. Because it has to be different.

Best Wishes to All!

Miss Independent

You see, because, one thing you must know about me
Is I was a Miss-You-ain’t-gonna-lock-me-down-baby-I-am-free
And I wasn’t to be taken lightly
Quite frankly
To cross any boundaries
Usually left you connected to a phone telling you you marked the number
incorrectly
But you didn’t. I just didn’t want you calling me.
Anyway
My point is plain.
I was no princess waiting for a prince to claim
Because I was the reason the dragon was already slain
Men were toys, and my heartbreak made sure to remind me of the pain they bring
So I decided that love just wasn’t my thing
I went on dates, I even met your parents, mr and mrs whatshisface
Until you caught me with another man’s arm around my waist
And what’s worse is you couldn’t complain or show your disappointment
Because you showed up early and I already briefed you about Him
remember? He’s my 6 o’clock “appointment”
All my candidates supplied free movies and dinners and dances and drinks
All within months of still seeing my past link
He played with me so I played with him
And silly me I found myself amused by how I could use him at whim
For emotional comfort and what ever else was needed at the market
It must have been exactly the reason I was such an easy target
Amongst my twisted fantasy I found myself at the end of a retail aisle staring… no..
let’s be honest… I was gazing
At what I thought at that moment was a man who defined amazing
A fool, a toddler, a loser to say the least, that was frozen in the moment and wasn’t
smart enough to flee
Was enveloped in the moment he touched the first key
I felt the thought manifest, I felt it develop and convert into a concrete thought out
of the blue
And dammit I couldn’t stop before I asked him
“Is there anything you can’t do?”
I didn’t wait for the response, I don’t even think our eyes met
I swiftly walked away to die in my embarrassment
And 5 years later I see it everyday
The answer to the question I asked before I ran away
This woman that once didn’t give a damn about any species with testis or an adam’s
apple, just to be sure
Felt a love so true so deep and so pure
So the answer is simple, because you see
You have to be in love, like me, to be free
So remember that question I asked before
when I was that girl that asked
“Oh, we went out? I’m sorry- and you’re who?”
And now as a woman I can give you my heart as I tell you
No, there isn’t a thing in this world he can’t do.

Definition

I find myself gasping for the words
Running thru the ends of the earth to figure it all out
How in the world can I explain, how can I make it somehow known
How can I make you see and taste music
How can I find the correct adjectives when all I can imagine to portray are verbs
And how can u prove the magic and mystery and the fire that lives in me
When I must describe this reality of a dream
The aches of my fingers from gripping the sheets
The passion that still lingers in the air
That kiss…..
Oh, that kiss
Please put an end to all of this madness
Because I cannot seek an answer
Given some sort of divine interference from behind the stars and from over and
beyond and above
How to explain how it feels to be in love………

Talib Kweli

Hit me up on twitter tonight. EPIC moment for me! As one of my favorite all time- i -would-take-his-albums-on-a-deserted-island-type-of-shit- this is pretty awesome. WHOO HOOOO!!!

5 Things I don't understand....

1. Why do you think your diet coke is canceling out your cheeseburger? You think that really helps? Oh, no, I get it. You like the taste of diet soda. Shut up. Nobody likes the taste of diet soda.

2. "Oh no my kid is pregnant at 16!"- Do you let them watch anything on tv past 5pm? Do they have access to the internet? Is your child aware of the fact that they have genitals in the 21st century? CONGRATULATIONS! YOUR KID WILL BE PREGNANT SOON!

3. I don't care that she is a celebrity but now she is a best selling author.... and I will await the day God smites Snooki for being Snooki.

4. Why movies that deal with salsa have that gay generic "feel the music" theme. If you try to "feel the music" on the dancefloor in a real salsa club you are not going to be feeling much of short of an asshole.

5. Why do cops say "have a nice day," after giving you a ticket. Now if we slap you with the dark side of our hand and tell you your mom thinks your a failure, then we are in the wrong, right? Ugh. Politics.

"Legally Separated"

This term is an acceptable term on tax forms, legal documentations, and is admissible in court. It is also rumored to function like pixie dust with dashes of hopes and dreams on those strained marriages when one's spouse utters the words, "I need some space," or "I just need a break."

Like what, a vacation?

This conversation actually began between a co-worker and I. This person was telling me that the spouse was "unstable and stressed," about their current situation and that they weren't making it easier on each other. They were actually making it worse. Spouse #1 was already looking for places to move....temporally. They had calmly discussed how they would manage seeing the children and how the finances would be handled during this undetermined amount of time throughout their separation. Everything seemed logical and correctly planned out. Spouse #1 needed a break and spouse #2 felt this may be the best thing if that is what the relationship needed. Besides, as long as the kids are being juggled correctly, what else mattered? Well... then I asked a question, that to me, seemed like the most obvious and pretty damn important question.

So, are you guys allowed to date?

The response I got was a blank stare of "huh. I never thought about that."

I would like some studio audience feedback and then Legally Separated pt 2 will return.....for my ULTIMATE response! (exil laugh x2)

Ah, Marilyn....

So beautiful so bright in your fluorescent spot light
Envy followed your every step regardless of where the trip
Loneliness as transparent as the scarlet on your lips
Sad seduction leaks from your eyes
You captivated audiences regardless of size
With your fancy Chanel number 5
Fame, talent, beauty you had it all
But we had it all wrong
Because although we heard the lyrics
We never quite understood your song
See, all we really need is the satisfaction
And it is on you that we feed
When u wear a mask for so long you forget who u were beneath it
But keep it, because WE, we NEED it!
Oh, Marilyn, you were no different from any of us
A sex symbol, a goddess, a beautiful fantasy of lust
Your tears weren't for the cameras, your smile was delicately hidden behind your white glove
All the while behind the scenes
You were desperately looking for love

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A career is wonderful, but you can't curl up with it on a cold night.
Marilyn Monroe

A sex symbol becomes a thing. I just hate to be a thing.
Marilyn Monroe

An actress is not a machine, but they treat you like a machine. A money machine.
Marilyn Monroe

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Marilyn Monroe

Being a sex symbol is a heavy load to carry, especially when one is tired, hurt and bewildered.
Marilyn Monroe

Dogs never bite me. Just humans.
Marilyn Monroe

Dreaming about being an actress, is more exciting then being one.
Marilyn Monroe

Fame will go by and, so long, I've had you, fame. If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle. So at least it's something I experience, but that's not where I live.
Marilyn Monroe

First, I'm trying to prove to myself that I'm a person. Then maybe I'll convince myself that I'm an actress.
Marilyn Monroe

Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.
Marilyn Monroe

Husbands are chiefly good as lovers when they are betraying their wives.
Marilyn Monroe

I am invariably late for appointments - sometimes as much as two hours. I've tried to change my ways but the things that make me late are too strong, and too pleasing.
Marilyn Monroe

I am involved in a freedom ride protesting the loss of the minority rights belonging to the few remaining earthbound stars. All we demanded was our right to twinkle.
Marilyn Monroe

I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful.
Marilyn Monroe

I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot.
Marilyn Monroe

I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it.
Marilyn Monroe

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe

I don't want to make money, I just want to be wonderful.
Marilyn Monroe

I have feelings too. I am still human. All I want is to be loved, for myself and for my talent.
Marilyn Monroe

I have too many fantasies to be a housewife. I guess I am a fantasy.
Marilyn Monroe
I knew I belonged to the public and to the world, not because I was talented or even beautiful, but because I had never belonged to anything or anyone else.
Marilyn Monroe

I restore myself when I'm alone.
Marilyn Monroe

I'm very definitely a woman and I enjoy it.
Marilyn Monroe

I've been on a calendar, but I've never been on time.
Marilyn Monroe

I've never dropped anyone I believed in.
Marilyn Monroe

If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have got anywhere.
Marilyn Monroe

If I'm a star, then the people made me a star.
Marilyn Monroe

It's all make believe, isn't it?
Marilyn Monroe

It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone - so far.
Marilyn Monroe

It's not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.
Marilyn Monroe

It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
Marilyn Monroe

It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone.
Marilyn Monroe

Men are so willing to respect anything that bores them.
Marilyn Monroe

My work is the only ground I've ever had to stand on. I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation but I'm working on the foundation.
Marilyn Monroe

No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they're pretty, even if they aren't.
Marilyn Monroe

Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature.
Marilyn Monroe

The body is meant to be seen, not all covered up.
Marilyn Monroe

The thing I want more than anything else? I want to have children. I used to feel for every child I had, I would adopt another.
Marilyn Monroe

The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn't any.
Marilyn Monroe

There was my name up in lights. I said, 'God, somebody's made a mistake.' But there it was, in lights. And I sat there and said, 'Remember, you're not a star.' Yet there it was up in lights.
Marilyn Monroe

What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
Marilyn Monroe

Let's Keep It Real, Shall We?

Here are some extremely controversial rants...

1. Marriage is slowly declining in the US... Why? Because whether we want to admit it or not ladies... this whole independent woman shit doesn't quite work all the time. You know why? Because men usually like to feel like they own their own testicles. Men like that whole classic house cleaned, laundry done, dinner cooked, I-only slept-with-at-most-3-people-in-my-whole-20 to 24-years-of-living-and-even-that-is-pushing-it-even-though-i-probably-slept-with-a-million-women-and-i-don't-believe-in-double-standards..... And men guess what... that whole he-man way of YOU WOMAN, I MAN, type of thinking doesn't work either. Let us be independent but dammit open up a door and yeah that's right help us out too. Ha! Have fun spending the rest of eternity figuring that one out.

2. Who needs human communication when you have electronics to fill your mind with endless hours of fluff that comes fully equipped with magical powers that occupy you so well, you completely forgot what was bothering you in the first place. POOF! Wait, what?

3. Girls getting their periods at age 10. Yeah... keep thinking that shit is organic.

4. "Family Friendly" shows that air at 6pm show one night stands with a college professor and a highschool girl hooking up in a bathroom. Remember when Full House's biggest controversy was when Stephanie went to a make out party.

5. Texting "LOL" and not laughing out loud makes you a liar. Do you hear me?! A LIAR!

6. I tried paying the gift shop old ladies in Trident Layers and they took it. FACT.

7. Working out isn't fun. Ok? Get over it. I'm sick of everyone saying "Wow, how awesome, what a great work out!" Because guess what, if it was fun or you "feel good," afterwards, you probably didn't do shit.

8. I now realize why my husband can play the exact same game and do the exact same thing each and everytime and still become addicted. Meet a Call of Duty Black Ops Zombie addict. (she said guiltily)

9. Is it ok for men to giggle? Can u have a man-giggle, and still be a man?

10. Hitler... he probably had the right idea, didn't he? I mean, seriously... think about it. I won't tell.... (pssst! friendly reminder... they killed Jesus)