10 Reasons why I should have been a dude

Before every woman on earth attacks me on this piece, let's be realistic. There are stereotypical attributes that belong to each sex and I just happen to have a lot of the ones that belong to, well, men.

1. I love absolutely every show on the Spike Channel, lovingly dubbed, "the man channel."

2. I get excited and competitive when playing video games. (watching the previews of new ones also excite me too - - - as I reserve the games at gamestop.)

3. I am pretty obsessed with comic books and the actually good renditions of the movies they make.

4. I love man razors. Yes, that's right. Fuck waxing. Man razors are better.

5. I think women are evil and manipulative. For example, Oh I want to be with you but wait, we can't because my past has been rough blah blah blah but I still love you. Or how about this, You are supposed to read my mind!! EEEEEVVVVIIILLLLLL!!!!!!!
And by the way, men recognize when you walk in heels that are too high and look like you have a stick in your ass. Fun fact # 2, you emit your whore scent from miles away, so please don't be insulted when men want to limit the conversation. Just thought us, er, I mean, men should tell women.

6. I love sport cars and racing.

7. I have the biggest potty mouth on earth. Seriously. The only exceptions are kids. Small kids.

8. I think small dogs are gay.

9. I also think pretty boys are gay. And soft. And I could whoop their ass.

10. I can't deal with tears if I don't love you. I really can't. I almost feel like slapping the bitch out of you. Equal treatment for both males and females.