Battle of the Sexes!!!

Check out the new polls & inspire me to write in regards to this everlasting battle!!!!

"You write too long/too much!"

Is what someone told me as I was writing in my blog at work. First, they were looking over my shoulder which immediately merits a samurai sword to your stomach and a ninja star to your neck... DO NOT linger over my shoulder. Second, are you out of your mind????

So you'll watch a 2 1/2 hour movie but won't take 15 minutes to read 5 paragraphs?

I stimulate the mind
I awaken feelings you never knew you had
My words create, build, destroy, maintain, remain, omit, adjust, simultaneously combust.....

I'm sorry you're mindless.
A slave to motion pictures
A pathetic excuse of a breathing fixture

While your watching things be done
I'm writing about what I did & the accomplishment I won.

Don't wanna read my long shit?
Cool.

Move on!

Hair

I met a patient today. Granted, I meet about 20 per day, but this one patient. She turned my world upside down.

When I walked into the room, I literally didn't understand why she was even in the hospital. She was beautiful. She had olive skin that appeared to have no imperfections and sparkling, I kid you not, sparkling hazel eyes that appeared heavier than what the color suggested. But her hair. Oh my God, her hair. It was exquisite. Cascading waves curled around her shoulders that hugged the nape of her neck. I was in awe. She was smiling quietly as I introduced myself.

I did the ordinary supervisor spill and made small talk.

In the middle of me asking her if there was anything else I could do for her, she asked me if she could touch my hair. Which was tied up into a ridiculous careless bun since I was running late this morning.

My hair? Hello! Had she looked in the mirror???

Utterly taken back, I hesitated. She looked healthy, but she was obviously here for a reason. What the hell, right? I'll just deep scrub tonight. I took my hair out of the bun and shook it a bit.

She gingerly ran her fingers through my curls (which obviously suggests that she knew how to because so many people think curly hair is like straight hair and end up tangling your shit) and gently pulled on my curls and said
"It's so long and beautiful."

I told her she was crazy and that I never did my hair for work because of blah blah blah.

She smiled and told me, "Your hair really says a lot about your personality. I can tell you are as untamed and as exotic as your hair. You should dedicate some more time to it, you never know when your going to miss it."

I thought she was nuts. Sweet, but nuts. I told her she was right, brushing her off like any other patient I see on a daily basis.

The ATU nurse came in. Wait. ATU?

Cancer.

I watched quietly as she unlocked this gorgeous woman's bed and began to wheel her out. I stopped her at the door and told her that I promised her I would take better care of my hair.

She smiled, in tears, and said "Thank you. I'll always remember you and your kinky hair, even when I don't have mine. I'll remember you have yours and that you care."

As the nurse wheeled her away I realized how much we take advantage of the things we always have simply because we think we'll always have them.

I spent $162 dollars that I didn't have on hair products and shampoo and did my curls in whatever insane way I always wanted to try but never had the time.

It looked great.

And it's not only about my hair, this woman made me realize how very special every little detail is and how much we would miss it if it were taken away from us by force.

I celebrate her and every other little thing we take for granted.

Poll Results pt 2!

So before I post the most recent poll results, I wanted to comment on last month's:

So the general consensus for going to a swinger's club with your partner was a hell no, but did anyone consider that you don't necessarily have to join in on any three way, four way action, maybe it would just be a thrill to see it? It would be like live porn... any second thoughts?

Yes, Lady Gaga has a penis I swear that video on that ghetto ass website bossip.com showed it, but if you saw the unedited version of her "Telephone" video she obviously got rid of it. Great publicity, though. She really is a genius.

Barack Obama's presidency? Unfortunately, I would have to agree with the other voters, I only catch it online. Realistically, after the disaster our last "leader" left him with, how much can he change in his term? Plus, for any of you that remember Government class, the president doesn't have as much power as the general public thinks.

I would have agreed with Ariel and Jasmine because I LOVE them, but why didn't Belle or the newest Tiana make the list? Not even one vote! Belle was a bad ass. She basically told Gaston he wasn't shit. And not to mention I have a soft spot for her sassy attitude with the Beast and her love for reading. (yeah, yeah, I am a nerd) And Tiana was so damn lovable. She had a very honest dream and was beyond determined and focused. Who couldn't relate to her struggle and honesty? She was def the most down to earth princess who put that flirtatious prince's feet on the ground... Comments??

Skinny jeans on guys? I have seen it work, but mostly on very "chic" guys. Do I like it? Nah, I like my man's balls to breathe.

NEW POLLS!!

Is flirting to gain something ok even if your in a relationship?
20% said yes it may benefit us both
20% said hell no dont be no ho!
40% said maybe, depends on the situation
20% said I don't care

I love that some people are secure enough to allow their partner to flirt, I thought it was hilarious that some feel that is too risque to do if your with someone (which I can also understand), I def like that the general population said maybe because I think I fall into that category and the ones that said they don't care should probably re-evaluate their relationship. lol somethin ain't right there!

Sex Talk, hot or not?
25% said yes the raunchier the sexier! (whoo hoo got some freaks in the hizzouse! lol)
75% said depends on the mood (again, I fall into this category)

This poll was the most interesting because there was no variety which means sex was obviously much easier to decide than flirting.. hmmm.. lol

Los Suns, political victory or publicity stunt?
50% said political victory (awesome response! Latinos stand up!)
50% said Los who? (tsk tsk! I hate the controversy in politics, but try to stay informed, this is the future of our kids here!)

Nas Or Jay-Z
75% said Nas
25% said Jay-Z
Yeah... I don't have to say anything about that one. The poll says it all.

Now, my favorite poll!

Is it possible to fall in love more than once??
50% yes so many people in the world
25% no, real love only happens once
0% dont know what love is
50% said maybe

I LOVED the responses here! I loved that people weren't confused on what love really is but also thought it may be possible to fall in love with someone else and others were certain you could! WOW! Only 25% thought true love only occurs once!

Well, as I promised before my husband and I will be blogging about this but before I do, check out my new blog about "open marriages" and I can't wait to hear about that!!!!!

New polls are going to battle of the sexes!!! ENJOY!!!!!

Open Marriage... Say Whaaat?!

So, I saw an episode of House that shocked me into literary reflective mode. And to be quite honest, House hasn't been able to have that effect on me in quite some time, so I decided to seize the moment as quickly as possible before I lose my written word seizure attack. The episode was basically of this woman who got sick but the main focus (or at least mine) was about her open marriage and all the who, what, when, where, and whys about it.

Can you trust my opinion about this particular topic considering I am totally and completely biased in my opinion since I am married? Probably not. Not to mention I have old school values to add to this pretentious and damn near nonexistent belief in the power of marriage, BUT I will try my poetic best to write in a third person perspective using very minimal emotion and hopefully only using it when appropriate or when it serves its purpose in morally supporting logical trains of thought. ALL ABOARD!

To begin, I'm going to try to define exactly what does an "open marriage," actually mean. I explored the options with my husband and realistically it could boil down to a million reasons ranging from sex (which appears to be the most common) to hobbies (perhaps an area of your interest your spouse does not have) to romance. So, very plainly, I decided it can be defined as whatever it is that your lacking or missing in your marriage that your spouse cannot or will not produce to your satisfaction or needs, OR whatever it is that you are missing from your once upon a time single and/or younger life. To be put even more simply, being able to have your cake and eat it, too.

Let's go into the pros first: (it's gonna get hot people!)

1. INFIDELITY OCCURS ANYWAY- Let's be realistic, I have already broken this bad boy down (check out my "why did I get married" blog) cheating & lying happen more often than not in marriages & relationships. Cheating, regardless of the reason is still cheating. Whether it be because your sexual needs aren't being met on terms that satisfy you, whether it be because your significant other isn't paying enough attention to you, or even a really bad fight last night, it happens! Lust, temptation, yearning, thrill.. pick your poison, it is just (sadly) a common event. What's not so common? Having an understanding with your spouse or significant other. Being honest. Lets say there are problems in the bedroom. He's not doing foreplay your way, she always has a headache, so on so forth. You try talking through the problem, you even try working through the problem. Guess what? Reality is, there are some things you cannot change! Change is relative to the person and coincides with choice. Why, if you don't have to change, should you change? She is saying no, but somewhere out there someone else is screaming out yes. So suddenly no one is having to compromise. You are both honest about the what you want and need and understand that love is not being compromised, just a small desire a guilty pleasure that you hunger for. Instead of having to lie and hurt your spouse to satisfy this hunger, you accept that someone else can give what you cannot but you are still the one they want to come home to and vice versa. This isn't about love. Love is not that one that suffers. But the frustration & the resentment that occurs despite all the love in the world because these problems never go away, that can ruin an entire relationship. What if you can put an end to it? What if you can love strong enough to know that you love that person enough to make them happy, even if it means there are certain areas where you just cannot? Isn't it worth it? Which brings me to my next point:

2.EXPECTING ONE PERSON TO FULFILL ALL YOUR NEEDS FOREVER, IS UNREALISTIC: It almost appears juvenile and naive to think about this fairy tale ending lasts forever. Everyone has particular needs and for the most part, a lot of those needs may be expressed or realized early on in the relationship, but just like everything else, with time those needs change and cultivate into either something more or something completely different all together. So, what do you do in the event that this person that you love can no longer continue to fulfill these needs whether they be old or new? Or how about another curve ball that can occur in life. Spouse has a change in careers. Spends a lot of their time out of town. Weeks, sometimes months, on end. What do you do? Do you conveniently ignore the truth that both of you have needs? Whether it be for another person's intimate company or for someone to curve the loneliness of the vacant hotel nights... how do you deny that those needs just continue to ache? So to be completely and totally pessimistic about human relationships, we have to admit that the thought of cheating presents itself during our most vulnerable moments. This example is not illogical or far fetched, so which is the worst scenerio? One spouse is cheating while the other is loyally waiting for miracles to come true and their spouse to make everything perfect only to discover they have been lying, or both of you maintain your honesty and allow someone else to give them the 10 percent they cannot so that you can truly appreciate them for the 90 percent they do give. You choose.

3. WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A PERFECT MARRIAGE? EVERYONE ELSE HAS FIGURED OUT HOW TO SETTLE FOR LESS. It is a fact. Once you get married, you will have to sacrifice certain things in order to have your marriage work and/or please your spouse. I won't elaborate too much on this one. It is pretty self explanatory. Since you are needing to sacrifice, aren't you in essence, settling? With an open marriage, however, your options are no longer limited. And I must keep stressing the most appealing notion to all of this... YOUR PARTNER AGREES!!!


So, basically, an open marriage appears to be a dream come true. Not only do you have the trust and assurance of your partner that is allowing this magical marriage to happen (which may even benefit your relationship and strengthen it) but you are keeping your marriage exciting and fresh while also having your every need met... without lying about it! Does it get more perfect?

Wait... there's more!

Here are the cons...

1. SO, IT'S OK TO HAVE SEX, BUT NOT TO CARE? Contrary to popular belief, although females are the more emotional species, women are capable of just enjoying the physical act of sex without turning it into a wedding proposal. With that being said, this open marriage idea suggests that you are able to get whatever you are lacking, elsewhere, right? So then where are the boundaries? Are the boundaries set according to each individual scenario, kind of like a "we'll cross that bridge when we get to it," type of ordeal? For example, is it ok to just have casual sex but not ok to have an actual relationship with this person? Does that basically mean that the spouses are only entitled to one night stands? Sex is just sex but when you are having sex, even casual sex, and there is some sort of relationship that has been built, doesn't it mean that it now becomes intimate? Where does that stand in this open marriage? Regardless of how many rules or regulations you may try to put into this open marriage concept (which basically just nullifies the point of the open marriage by putting restrictions on it) you cannot control your most instinctive and natural component- emotion. Suddenly that one night stand was more than you bargained for and the satisfaction was just to die for. Now, who would want to give that up if you don't have to? That one night stand has evolved into a movie night on Thursdays. From movie nights to dinner and a clubbing night, from dinner to a beach to a movie to a hotel night..... what then? Are you now violating this open marriage contract? You simply wanted to satisfy your lust or sexual need, but now a relationship is occuring, but it's not like your lacking a relationship because you still maintain this in your marriage... so, are you cheating? How intimate is too intimate? If you must have some sort of bland relationship before having intercourse (because one night stands just gets a little empty from time to time) what are you allowed to talk about to avoid any sort of possible bond? Is it ok to discuss your spouse, or your family? Your job? Your likes and dislikes? Lets say that the open marriage is not about sex. Your sex life is great with your spouse, it has never been an issue, but there are other things lacking. One of you loves art and your spouse absolutely loathes it. But to you, art is expression in it's purest and best form. It is visual passion. It is an obsession in colors. Is it then ok to become platonic friends with another sex to simply just discuss art? Then one must question the depth your marriage has. If you have to have an "open marriage" simply because your love for art interferes with your marriage..... you shouldn't be married. So, it just boils right back down to sex. Fuck but don't care, talk, think, or speak about it or that person.... hmmm... how tangible is that? How long will that be enough to satisfy that thirst?

2. WOW... THIS PERSON... THEY'RE AMAZING! Ok, so the open marriage is a green light and your adventure begins. What made you come to this agreement? Neither of you were happy, one wasn't happy, so on so forth but you still love each other and want to stay together, right? Well, of course, open marriage, that's the simple answer. However, if you were initially having problems, enough problems that were serious enough to lead to this epiphany of an open marriage, then wouldn't it be safe to say that your platform or your foundation of your marriage is not anywhere solid enough to survive all the possible outcomes of an open marriage? You are with this other person for whatever need it is that they are providing you and now all of a sudden they are part of your life. How do you avoid the thought of them in your mind when your looking at your spouse.. something along the lines of "Well, John would probably never say that to me...." or "Mary would probably like it..." Or even the casual mention in conversation... for example:
"Hey honey, I don't feel like cooking tonight. Are you up for take-out?"
"Well, actually Mary and I went to this chinese spot uptown and it was great. I was thinking about taking you there this weekend anyway."
...........
so what's the proper response here?
A. "Sure, sweetheart! Chinese sounds great!
B. "Why would I want to go somewhere you and your bitch went to?"
C. "You know what honey, I thought we agreed never to speak of our outside activities. Why would you hurt me like that? What else have you done with her?!"
D. "Actually, I think I'll just cook instead."

ANALYSIS:

A. This is me being completely and totally disconnected from you because I don't even care that you enjoyed this place with another woman and now you want to take me. John takes me great places you don't anyway.
B. I ignore the fact that we have this open marriage to my convenience and even though we are doing it, the longer it continues, the more I lose interest in even being with you.
C. I agreed but I hate it and it kills me when I think about you with someone else.... even though I do the same thing.. Oh my god, what are we doing?! I love you and (more psychotic insecure ranting)
D. I am completely and utterly numb and it will eventually consume me.

What happens when spouses get into arguments and know they have that open marriage thing going on and go running into another's arms for comfort instead of dealing with the problem? What limits are there?

What future do you see? What depth can you measure?

Suddenly, that 10 percent they give is way more amazing than your mediocre 90 percent. Then what?

3. I THINK ITS TIME TO END THE OPEN MARRIAGE AGREEMENT- One spouse says its time. The other spouse has become addicted to this freedom and disagrees. Now what? Now at this point, love and dedication is questioned. Why are you not enough that they can't give up that lifestyle? Will they just continue to do this behind my back even if they say they are done? When they are late at the office, are they alone? It can become quite impowering to feel that your relationship is immune to all the other failures of common, ordinary relationships when you are able to have the best of both worlds with approval. Once tha approval is revoked, will you be able to still appreciate your spouse for all that they have done? Or will you resent them for giving you freedom only to take it back at their will? Is trust and intimacy forever damaged? Can you ever even look at your spouse the same knowing all of the other hands that have roamed that body, all the other secrets & desires shared between them, knowing someone else was able to satisfy them more than you were able to? Did you ever even love them if you were able to do have these needs met by others outside of your marital bond and not have a guilty conscience simply because you were honest about it? What's honest about that?
.........
That is why you can't have your cake and eat it too.


I apologize for the novel... but I tried to bring out as much as I could. Logical. Open marriage seems like the true happily ever after and def a great option to avoid infidelity, divorce, mistrust.....

But

Point blank.... is that even an option for a happily ever after if it isn't even really a true happily ever after?

LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!!!!

Poll Results

This is what I have gained from your popular votes:

Swing club w/your partner?---> Hell no
Lady Gaga has a penius-----> True
Following Barack Obama's presidency----> if it's on yahoo
Favorite Disney Princess-----> Jasmine & Ariel
Skinny Jeans on guys----> Was an even vote between gay & I don't mind

Check out the new ones for May!

Pampering & Guilty Pleasures

If you work hard
If you love true
If you dream big
If you survive another day...

INDULGE!

Who knows what tomorrow will bring!

10 ways to identify an idiot

1. They are wearing anything Ed Hardy
2. If they are male and own something bejewled. If they are female they own a device that enhances their "bump it"
3. They think it's ok to leave their clothing tags on as they wear it
4. They speak in "text-talk" such as spelling out "OMG," or "BRB"
5. They think that the robot voice is a real voice
6. They wear all black to be "different." Like all the other ones that wear black to be "different."
7. They think the cast from Jersey Shore is cool.
8. They can do the "soldier boy"
9. They wear sunglasses at night
10. They quote anything from the Biggie Smalls movie.

I am a Witch

I am indeed a witch for those of you who did not know
I practice a craft very distinct from those performed at magic shows
I do not own a cauldron and I cannot fly on a broom
I cannot transform my appearance or cause the sun to rise in gloom
But the potency of my powers you should never assume
Because believe me, my pretty
You have no idea
My spells have never been casted on weak or blinded prey
They are aware of my cause and effects right away
Many of my potions have fallen short of their true potential and glory
Until I met him and we instantly felt things unholy
A devil in disguise, I was certain and yet so unsure
Of how compelled I was to become a devil worshipper
It was then that my powers ached with desire
And I could no longer contain my supressed spells that bled passion's fire
I cast a simple love spell
Of this he could tell
The hole in him that once knew no end
suddenly found a friend
In my smile that binded his gaze
The peace he longed for was intertwined with a perfect lust filled craze
In my curves that siloutted in my wand compelling smoke haze
The coldness of a man that never believed
Was replaced
Of photographs of me
My spell was inevitably working perfectly
Until there are those that decided to intervene....
To question the validility of his feelings
They just couldn't believe this rare sincerity
It just couldn't be
He was never truly happy
And now suddenly
She adores him, honors him, protects, and supports him?
She's obviously a witch! A creature of sin
It is indeed true as you peasants cleverly came to
I am an outcast a different breed from you
You see, the difference is
I see him for all that he can be
Whereas you never even saw him for what he was
Simply another person on this earth, another wind in the dust
When I conjured up love
I summoned angels from above
That presented me a crown to deliver
In midst of your envy, my sweet tasting potion is immune to anything bitter
A king I crowned after the correct spell was found
The life we lead will continue to consume life's pleasures and love's everlasting gift with it's magical ability to enrich
I am here to stay
No matter what you do
Because don't forget this verse's main pitch
I am The witch.

Love...only once?

My husband and I are going to be having an ongoing debate (http://blursvision.blogspot.com/) about whether or not it is possible to fall in love, truly fall in love, more than once in your life.

Before we begin...

What do you think?

"Chuleta Blanket"

With our not-so-summer weather here in New Mexico, my husband and I often fight over the bed covers and blankets.

One night he was so angry at my obsession of sleeping with the fan on (i get hot and cold throughout the night... I think i get this craziness from my mother) that he angrily pulled at our blanket and grabbed the fleece one (which is warmer than our blanket) that was at the foot of the bed and said to me,

"I'm tired of this damn chuleta blanket!"

...........

Please, someone explain to me, what exactly is a chuleta blanket? For all the gringos, it means "pork chop blanket."

We died laughing but still haven't figured it out.

Please help.

Re: Alabama

For those of you who know me, you know there was no way I was going to let this article go by without my not-so-subtle input....

Does this asshole even realize the utmost ignorance in his words/decision? Its raw and utter ignorance that is supported by a handful of political power-hungry bigots.. (not very different from the rest of the world, of course.) I will at least give this schmuck some credit. He either has a very large pair down there or just recently hired a SWAT team to guard his home/car/travels, because I have no idea how every ethnic group in that state hasn't already eaten him alive.

He is not only insulting the very history this country was built on by spitting in the faces of its creators/developers/founding fathers, but he is resulting to an absurd solution. Why do politicians believe that negative reinforcement will result in a positive response, much less a positive change? He speaks of the costs he will be saving, but has he truly explored other options if he was so concerned about the economic condition of his precious state? I'm sure his lodgings for business trips are not compromised....

Instead of showings immigrants the respect and support that they deserve and often times need, this gentleman decides to add an additional barrier to their already difficult journey to reach the american dream. If it is difficult for a full bred American (which obviously does not exist unless you are a Native American) imagine what the struggle must be for an immigrant to come to a country boasting "The Land Of the Free," to find something quite distant from that.

This stand-up senator could have encouraged these immigrants rather than enhancing what this country considers a disability, and offer classes in English. Not only would he be helping them find a resource that is not always readily available, but he could also manage small amount of revenue. (small amount is better than none, right?)

I do not in any way shape or form believe in enabling those that do not want to help themselves and whom manage to cripple themselves. I am widly against all the Cubans that make grave and dangerous sacrifices to make it to this country and then flee to Miami, where damn near every corner is infested with ONLY spanish-speaking residents. UNACCEPTABLE. I am a firm believer in adaption, learning and expanding and there is no way in hell Miami deserves a short cut in learning English, simply because they really dont' "have" to. Maybe not in Miami, but try establishing a business or a career like that and you will fail. Just because you speak a different tongue does not make you immune to failure. We are all subjected to it and recognize it like a second mother. Why do you deserve a break?

There is no other journey like that of the "American Dream," but there is no other journey like that of the immigrant that went through unspeakable risks to just get a mere taste of opportunity.

Dear Immigrants,

We lied.

Signed,

The United States of America.

Alabama Article: "We Speak English."

Amid a national debate over Arizona's tough new immigration law, Republican Alabama gubernatorial candidate Tim James (and son of previous Gov. Fob James) vows in a new campaign ad that if he's elected, he'll give the state driver's license exam only in English, as a cost-saving measure.

"This is Alabama; we speak English," he says in the ad. "If you want to live here, learn it."

It's not clear how James thinks the change would save the state money. Marc Ambinder of the Atlantic says Alabama could actually lose billions of dollars in federal funding if it enacts the measure, and he points to an Alabama political blog that runs down the legal history for why the exams are in multiple languages.

James says he's been attacked by the left for the ad, singling out MSNBC host Rachel Maddow. A writer on her blog called the ad "just plain mean" and argued it was simply pandering to the candidate's conservative base.

"I have come under attack and under assault by a very interesting group of far-left reporters," he said Monday, according to the Birmingham News. He said English exams are a public safety issue, to ensure drivers can read signs. Exams are currently given in Arabic, Chinese, English, Farsi, French, German, Greek, Japanese, Korean, Russian, Spanish, Thai and Vietnamese, according to AOL News.