How to Understand women

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Just Kidding!!! There is no such thing!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!

However, if I had to give a "typical" (what does that even mean?!) guy some advice here are some good tips:

1. I don't care how honest you guys are with each other... NEVER EVER EVER say she looks fat. If she talks bad about herself, suck it up, tell her she's gorgeous and that's it. Repeat 8,000,000,000,000 times.

2. When you make a comment such as "Oh man, I think red is so hot." and we are not wearing red, automatically our ridiculous woman mind says that whatever color we are wearing is NOT hot. Yeah, yeah, I know. But its true.

3. Whether they tell you or not, women love to get put in their place. It shows dominance and masculinity and we will probably rape you at that moment.

4. If she tries something new with her makeup, fashion, hair, etc. Please remember although we realize that unless you are a homosexual you have zero knowledge of how much thought goes into our beauty regime, your opinion weighs heavily on us, so viewer discretion is advised.

5. Don't ever tell us our roots are showing, our eyebrows need plucking, or our legs are prickly. Listen here big guy, reach down and make sure you still have a pair and remember you shouldn't care about anything besides the fact that we are allowing you to have sex with us. Roots cost money and are not fun to administer, eyebrow plucking/waxing is painful, and shaving/waxing our legs and them being smooth lasts all but 1-2 days so if you didn't touch them within that time frame, we are not risking razor bumps for you because then you will notice how red our legs are. (sigh) Get it? Just don't mention it.

I have a vagina and I approve this message.