Why Did I Get Married?

In honor of watching Tyler Perry's genius movie, I wanted to simply just answer the question. Why DID I get married?

I'm not sure if there is even a simple answer for this because it most certainly is not a simple journey... But I'll try my best. Fingers crossed....

The best and most obviously cliche answer is because I am in love. That's what people in love do, right? WRONG. Just because you are in love does not mean you have to begin exchanging vows. Is that my reason? Well, sort of, but not really.

I got married because I found an exquisite man that became part of my very existence. Notice how I said, PART of my existence. I do not believe that one sole person should be your entirety since that leaves you yourself out of the picture and logically you cannot be a whole, without a half. He is the best definition of a soul mate to me. The man that I can see growing old with, sharing and building a life together, and paving the road to our future one block at a time.

Does he drive me absolutely nuts? Yes. Damn near every other day. Does that make me love him any less? No. And I think that is very essential in a marriage. If you begin to pass judgement or are already questioning your devotion or comparing your initial feelings... yeah... you got a problem.

I got married because I am confident that I can have this man in my life for as long as life grants us and be ridiculously happy. I got married because I knew that there wasn't another person in this world I wanted to be completely vulnerable with and ask myself if it was all worth it.

I guess I can go on and on and on about how blessed I am to have found my husband and blah blah mushy gushy blah blah... soo...

I'll tell you what I didn't get married for, and what I have seen to be a huge mistake:

-I didn't get married to suddenly change him or anything about us. News flash! A piece of paper does not give you divine power. If you fell in love with them prior to whatever crazy changes you conjured up in your mind after you said "i do", that's what you get. Accept it or get out NOW.

-I didn't get married to just have kids or have some obsession about starting a family for whatever jacked up psychological/emotional reason. I am in a state where you are basically limited to either hiking or sex and I have still managed to end up pregnant free. (knock on wood). A wedding band does not mean you suddenly must have a baby. Enjoy your marriage and each other. Everyday should be a new adventure or surprise. (be prepared for the bad surprises too.)

-I didn't get married for fianancial stability. Sometimes this one doesn't always apply to everyone since not everyone is broke like us. We were broke before, then we were great, and we are broke again! And we still laugh about it. If you are a materialistic person and there are early signs of uneasiness when it comes to not being finanically perfect...... GET OUT! Life is unpredictable, if you cannot deal with that, go marry into royalty.

-I didn't get married for confidence. Just because we exchanged this undying love for each other in wedding vows, does not mean that either of you are immune to temptation or even (yikes) infedility. I had confidence and security prior to meeting him, being with, and most certainly marrying him. Confident, but not naive. If you think simply because you are married you are picture perfect and temptation no longer lurks around the corner.. .think again! I almost think it's even worse when you are married. The thought of forever can be scary and even intimidating... so when 2 days of constant fighting at home happen, suddenly that new girl/guy that is always smiling and laughing at your jokes and is just so easy going and nice and sorta pretty/cute, suddenly looks way more appealing than the spouse you have at home that nags at you or is still mad at your for whatever the hell your still fighting about. Reality. If you are not prepared to deal with your marriage and work at it EVERYDAY and make it strong so that when that temptation knocks you don't even consider it, DON'T GET MARRIED!!!

This is getting cosiderably long so I'm going to wrap this up with be happy whatever it takes, happy enough so that when shit happens (because it will....often) you don't want to run off the opposite direction. You love them and that, in essence, will keep you there, fighting.